hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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