Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize