i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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