i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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