last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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