theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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