Already got asked if we're dating
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
