I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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