Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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