Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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