I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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