I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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