Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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