ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
