Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
