it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
