In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
