he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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