matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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