My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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