You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
