Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
