It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
