Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
