i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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