i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
