Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
