I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
