just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
