I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
