This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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