Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
