you didnt know i had herpes?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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