We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
