why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
