so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You've changed since you got that strap on
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
