i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
