i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
