so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish you could order shots online.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
