Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
