at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
