just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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