You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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