What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
