i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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