you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
honey bunches of taint.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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