a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's like iHOP with fire
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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