I hate all girls vehemently.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
