oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
