Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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