Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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