he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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