I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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