i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
