He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
