Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
