I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
