erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
