This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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