just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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